2011?

2011?  Wow.  I am now sounding very old because I am sitting here thinking - "when did this happen?"

If I take a minute and look back I will find a very good year.  I have an amazing job, work with fabulous people, have made new friends, reconnected with old friends and frankly, I have the best family out there.

I am still working on Hanna's Dream (albeit slowly) and it still gives me the same level of joy - - I often think of how lucky I am to be "allowed" to be part of something so special.  I talked at length with Hanna's mom today (not too unusual) and I think, "I still don't know how she does it - - everyday".  How does she find the strength?  And yet, today she said, "it's been a good year".  She is a strong amazing woman and like so many of my friends, I draw strength from her.

The end of this year will bring a much needed vacation in Sedona, AZ - a lovely spa resort and four blissful days of nothingness - - it really is a good life.

I wish you nothing but a safe and happy 2011 - - take it all in, life is short.

happy new year

wow, is it really 2010?  I remember Y2K and how we thought the world would come to an end - nope, not even close!

I actually thought 2009 might be the end of the world but as of now it's just another year that had rough and difficult patches.  But as I navigated through the year I realized I can handle just about anything.  Just about.

I learned to be a better friend when we lost Hanna, I became a better employee when I got a new job, and a better member of society when I took on new responsibilities with Hanna's Dream. 

I am calmer and more relaxed - I'm happier.  Thank you 2009 but I can say this...bring on 2010!!

merry everything

we are a few short days away from Christmas and tonight it the last night of Ḥănukāh; where has the year gone?

it has been a crazy year for sure.  i started a new job, we lost hanna, i celebrated 6 years in northern california and reconnected with great friends, new and old on facebook.

in the past few weeks i've decided to recall my year and when i think back, i have been very blessed to have such a wonderful life, full of friends and family. 

welcome 2010!

tomorrows holiday

tomorrow is thanksgiving and i am heading to montana to be with one of my dearest friends and to share my blessings with her and her son...however, we will be celebrating with one less body at the table, miss hanna.

we all work tirelessly to keep the dream alive and make sure hanna and her legacy are fresh on everyone's mind.  we have submitted our story to people, oprah, ellen and countless other magazines. we are searching for the perfect way to tell the truth, the truth about hanna, her life and what she still brings to this world.

i have been sad lately.  i have cried.  i fear i won't be able to be there for her mom if she needs me.  i hope i will.

i miss hanna this holiday season and i pray for strength as we share this first holiday without our girl.

Update on Friday, December 18, 2009 at 7:00PM by Lori Luna

well, as i suspected i did not make it through the day without a breakdown, just keeping it real i suppose.

why?

I often have to stop and ask, why?  Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do flowers die before they should?  Why does cancer exist?  I am still waiting for answers.  Nothing yet.

Tonight I was on the phone with someone very dear to me.  He is going through an U-G-L-Y divorce and I find that I just want to "punch out" his soon to be ex wife.  And it reminds me of so many things that happen to good people.  I think of Hanna.  She was 6, yes, SIX, years old when she died.  My heart hurt more than it has ever hurt before.  I remember holding her mother in my arms as she begged me to let her go with her daughter.  I have never had something so horrible happen in my whole life.

Then I have friends going through divorces no one should have to endure and I think, "why"?  Why do such fabulous people have to endure such pain?  None of it makes sense for me. 

So, dear Universe, I ask, "why"?

I'll wait for the ever profound answer.