wasn't me...

there is a song out there by Shaggy, It wasn't me, and believe it or not there is a guy out there using those lyrics (insert heavy sigh).

Not sure he's still using those words but about 20 years ago he was.  Ahhhh, John - silly silly John.

My best friend and I were living together, she is a gorgeous, smart, funny, intelligent woman who also happens to be in law enforcement.  Tough cookie right?  Yep - except with men way back when.  She met this guy, we'll call him John, and he was smart and charming and well, he did a number on her.  He woo'd his way in and woe'd his way out.  He was a piece of work.  To say I did not like John would be an understatement.  I was just hateful enough to hang up on him when he would call and fell short of hitting him when I saw him...he was simply an a**hole.

He was seeing other women while seeing my best friend and naturally he was lying about it.  He was violent and abusive but did the "I'm sorry baby" routine when he was done.  Let me clarify that the violence and abuse fell "short" of physical; he was verbally abusive and physically intimidating.  Not my favorite person to say the least.

I must have told my friend a million times to dump him.  He's not good enough for you I would say - but we were young and naive and thought men would change for us.  You see we thought we were that special.  Come to find out, no one is special enough to change an abuser.

After months, maybe years, of their dating off and on, my BFF found out that John might be cheating on her.  Might was her word, my word was of course he is.  So at some ridiculous hour in the night (really the morning) we did the drive by.  We drove by the house of the girl we suspected he was cheating with.  And what did we find?  John's car - yep, the same make, model, color, blah blah blah.  Now one can argue that it wasn't him except his work uniform was hanging from the back seat - you know the one with his name on the chest?  (insert the roll of the eyes).  Naturally my BFF was devastated - how could he she said, as tears fell down her face.

The next decision was, do we walk up to the apartment and confront him?  My blood was boiling to the point where I could have easily confronted him on her behalf but she was not ready for that - so instead we drove away, knowing the truth.

My BFF decided she would confront him the next day with her facts and she did (I was so proud).  She sat him down, face to face and said, I know what you are up to.  Being the con-man that John was (maybe still is) he did what any good con man would do - he lied and denied.  Lie/deny, lie/deny.  He actually looked her in the eye and said, "baby, it wasn't me". 

Excuse me?

Wasn't you?

Are you kidding me?  Of course it was you - your work uniform was in the back - I saw it. 

Baby, I don't know what to tell you, it wasn't me.

And then, holy sh*t - she believed him.  She said to me, "it wasn't him - we were wrong". 

Excuse me?

No!  I saw it, it was him, he's lying. 

Nope she continued, I was wrong, it wasn't him.

I think she was trying to get through this horrible humiliation rather than really believing him - and she demonstrated this by breaking up with him very soon after this incident.  Ahhh, there was vindication.

Years later she would see him again and again, he would hold to his story - "baby, it wasn't me".

Do they really think we believe this crap?

Yep, Run Don't Walk.