wednesday and 1/2

 

Wednesday and ½ - what is it? Well actually it’s a term I coined because of one guy and his actions one night/morning.

The scene:

It was a Wednesday night (duh!) he and I chatted on the phone, made plans for the weekend, he said, ‘I’ll talk to you tomorrow baby’ and then...I never heard from him again. So why Wednesday and ½? Well, I figure something happened in that millisecond between Wednesday midnight and Thursday, the 12:00:01 = Wednesday and ½. It made and still makes perfect sense to me. Sadly the guy this was coined after would not be the first W & ½ nor the last, but this is how he became the original w & ½.

Arnold, the high school wrestling coach. I was in my mid 20’s, living with my best friend, partying, working, enjoying my life – to say the least.

I met Arnold in a local club; see in the 80’s and early 90’s we went to clubs to ‘dance’ and yes, of course, drink. It was a different scene then. It was fun, light, and carefree – it was simple. Or maybe I was just young so it seemed simple.

But I digress, Arnold. We dated for a short period of time, 4 or 5 months, nothing life shattering or altering. I met his friends, party boys, friendly, outgoing, and nice. He met my friends, fabulous, amazing, intelligent, and HONEST. Arnold was and probably still is, loud, obnoxious and ‘in your face’...so that with my honest friends did not bode well – in fact is was nothing short of a disaster. He was insulting and in return, insulted. It was a night I remember with clarity and wish I could forget. But THAT is not W &  ½, oh no, that would make sense.

Instead the story goes like this...I was young, finding my way through relationships and still a bit naïve to the ways of the world. He invited me to “sin city” with his family for a long weekend. I expressed my hesitation because I had never met his family and it would be awkward at the very least to spend a weekend with people I did not know and well, you know, the whole sleeping arrangement thing was going to be – weird. Now, I must say this is not a ‘sex’ thing, it’s a respect thing. I had too much respect for me but more important for his parents. It seemed like a reasonable request to meet the parents before the weekend so as to alleviate some of the awkwardness. He agreed that we would plan a bbq so I could meet the family and then we would be easy-breezy in vegas (my relationship with vegas would only get worse as the years progressed).

As the days to the ‘vacation’ neared the meet and greet did not occur but my resolve remained the same and he seemed to be more and more understanding, or so I thought. The Wednesday before the weekend (enter W & ½) we spoke on the phone, “baby, I’ve decided we’re not going to vegas this weekend (sic)...I don’t want you uncomfortable”.

Phew – crisis averted! I was so relieved, not to mention impressed. I was THAT important to him. He was willing to forego this weekend because I wasn’t comfortable. So not only was he cute and successful, he was THOUGHTFUL...JACKPOT!

Uh, not so fast. We now enter into the w & ½ zone. The time that stood still, the time where the planets tweaked and pow! He was gone.

Yep, gone. I never heard from him again, EVER.

My roommate tried to convince me to call him, she said, “he could be hurt – something could be wrong”. I had just read a self help book (I did that then) and one part that resonated with me, and still does, was this, “if he doesn’t call you he is not lying in a ditch somewhere calling out your name”.

After plainly refusing to call him, she did and what was she told, in no uncertain terms? Arnold had gone to vegas, you guessed it!

He did not care about me, my feelings, what was important to me, oh no, he cared about vegas and was willing to never speak to me again because I wasn’t willing to compromise.

As I said, he was not the last, just the first, to be coined Wednesday and ½. This man, is out there (women too), he has a different name, job and look but he is the same. It did not make it easier to accept but it did offer some needed levity and as I look back, it was all for the better – after all, without him, there wouldn’t be a term for the behavior.

Ahhh, the memories.

besides who want to be with someone who calls your friend a Pomeranian!