wednesday and 1/2
Monday, June 15, 2009 at 6:45PM 
Wednesday and ½ - what is it? Well actually it’s a term I coined because of one guy and his actions one night/morning.
The scene:
It was a Wednesday night (duh!) he and I chatted on the phone, made plans for the weekend, he said, ‘I’ll talk to you tomorrow baby’ and then...I never heard from him again. So why Wednesday and ½? Well, I figure something happened in that millisecond between Wednesday midnight and Thursday, the 12:00:01 = Wednesday and ½. It made and still makes perfect sense to me. Sadly the guy this was coined after would not be the first W & ½ nor the last, but this is how he became the original w & ½.
Arnold, the high school wrestling coach. I was in my mid 20’s, living with my best friend, partying, working, enjoying my life – to say the least.
I met Arnold in a local club; see in the 80’s and early 90’s we went to clubs to ‘dance’ and yes, of course, drink. It was a different scene then. It was fun, light, and carefree – it was simple. Or maybe I was just young so it seemed simple.
But I digress, Arnold. We dated for a short period of time, 4 or 5 months, nothing life shattering or altering. I met his friends, party boys, friendly, outgoing, and nice. He met my friends, fabulous, amazing, intelligent, and HONEST. Arnold was and probably still is, loud, obnoxious and ‘in your face’...so that with my honest friends did not bode well – in fact is was nothing short of a disaster. He was insulting and in return, insulted. It was a night I remember with clarity and wish I could forget. But THAT is not W & ½, oh no, that would make sense.
Instead the story goes like this...I was young, finding my way through relationships and still a bit naïve to the ways of the world. He invited me to “sin city” with his family for a long weekend. I expressed my hesitation because I had never met his family and it would be awkward at the very least to spend a weekend with people I did not know and well, you know, the whole sleeping arrangement thing was going to be – weird. Now, I must say this is not a ‘sex’ thing, it’s a respect thing. I had too much respect for me but more important for his parents. It seemed like a reasonable request to meet the parents before the weekend so as to alleviate some of the awkwardness. He agreed that we would plan a bbq so I could meet the family and then we would be easy-breezy in vegas (my relationship with vegas would only get worse as the years progressed).
As the days to the ‘vacation’ neared the meet and greet did not occur but my resolve remained the same and he seemed to be more and more understanding, or so I thought. The Wednesday before the weekend (enter W & ½) we spoke on the phone, “baby, I’ve decided we’re not going to vegas this weekend (sic)...I don’t want you uncomfortable”.
Phew – crisis averted! I was so relieved, not to mention impressed. I was THAT important to him. He was willing to forego this weekend because I wasn’t comfortable. So not only was he cute and successful, he was THOUGHTFUL...JACKPOT!
Uh, not so fast. We now enter into the w & ½ zone. The time that stood still, the time where the planets tweaked and pow! He was gone.
Yep, gone. I never heard from him again, EVER.
My roommate tried to convince me to call him, she said, “he could be hurt – something could be wrong”. I had just read a self help book (I did that then) and one part that resonated with me, and still does, was this, “if he doesn’t call you he is not lying in a ditch somewhere calling out your name”.
After plainly refusing to call him, she did and what was she told, in no uncertain terms? Arnold had gone to vegas, you guessed it!
He did not care about me, my feelings, what was important to me, oh no, he cared about vegas and was willing to never speak to me again because I wasn’t willing to compromise.
As I said, he was not the last, just the first, to be coined Wednesday and ½. This man, is out there (women too), he has a different name, job and look but he is the same. It did not make it easier to accept but it did offer some needed levity and as I look back, it was all for the better – after all, without him, there wouldn’t be a term for the behavior.
Ahhh, the memories.
besides who want to be with someone who calls your friend a Pomeranian!
arnold, vegas, wednesday and 1/2 in the book 
Reader Comments (5)
Men are Pigs! Men are Dogs! Men are from Mars! Blah Blah Blah. The fact is that you were having fun with this "fun and outgoing" (loud, disrespectful and obnoxious) cute guy. That was good enough for the now. And it is good enough for the now. But why do women seem so surprised when the man they are looking at turns out to be the man they are looking at, and has been all along? It is really not hard to figure out men or find a good man. Feed us, come home to us(every night), love us as we are, and love us when we are in need. We will have short comings and they are right in front of you just OPEN your eyes. Accept the those short comings and do not try to change them. Just take the good and run with it...as it is! There are many ways to identify a good man. They are simple and so are we. A man that has a long list of things to do before his day is over, but still makes the time to burn some music cd's for you. A busy man who still finds the time to call so you do not have to spend another long drive to work alone. A man willing to text you 20 times a day, when texting is not his strong suit, in the hope of a smile or laugh to help the day go just a little better is quite simply, a good man. A man that does not treat his partner with the utmost respect, never will, because he doesn't respect you. Look around ladies, even when you might not want to, we are a simple creature and not real hard to figure out. What you see, or choose not to see, is what you get.
hmmmm, i have read and re-read this comment and all i can come up with is bullsh*t. that was the easiest out i have read in years. might you be Mr. wednesday and 1/2? not my w&1/2 but i am sure you are someone's.
we only see what we WANT to see? really? how about we only see what you let us see? how about you do what needs to be done to get the girl and then voila! the "real" you comes out. the one who says, "hey baby, this is who i am - you knew this going in"...hmph! i say nay nay.
i say you are all about the pursuit and once that is over - the fizzle.
I was not blind to mr. W&1/2 - he LIED, plain and simple. LIED. he said one thing and did quite another. so "he or him" - you are full of crap.
period.
oh and p.s... I do not hate men, that would be too easy!
wow, wedneday & 1/2 i love it.... and i think every girl has had a guy like this.
Being a mother of 3 girls i warn them of these men. But i believe if we do not have a few of these guys in our lives we would not learn of exactly what is important to us and what it feels like to be treated well. So bring it on Mr. Wednesday & 1/2 cause that will only bring us one step closer to Mr. Right.
Full of crap...PERIOD? Well lets see. The pursuit is what it is, simply, the pursuit. We would never get anywhere if we did not pursue. So that was a weak a** statement (cop out). Next, we pursue in order to catch you. When we do then we get the chance to find out if it is what we want. If it takes 4 to 5 months for it to fizzle, as you say, then you were making it to easy for him to keep you around. Probably, for all the wrong reasons. He knew within a couple of ??dates, that he was going to use you, because he knew he could. You, most assuredly, enabled the cute fun guy get away with it. Again, it's on you and your unfocused eyes. The "real us"-" hey baby you knew this going in" statement is his way of saying "I don't respect you and I never will", "you were just letting me use you and I am done with you" time for you to go statement. Again, you had blinders on and stuck in the gate while he was running around your track. There is a right way and a wrong way to treat people, for sure. He did it wrong. But, you probably saw it coming. After having time to reflect an all of it, you see it now...yes? Do all pursuits end well? Hell no! But if the pursuit is for the right girl, hold on because it is an amazing ride. He was a complete a**hole too you and it is inexcusable, no doubt. Now how much better are you for only losing 4 to 5 months instead of years? You should have only lost 4 to 5 days. You are smarter that....My Friend!!!
oh, you have it soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo wrong.
dear god you have it wrong.
YOU are the one that is giving him the out. you are the one saying his behavior is 'okay' - that it is ON ME to decipher his bullsh*t. how about honesty? integrity? oh, nooooo, that is all out the window.
men, you all stick together. you suck - "friend"