ego ego ego

i've been sick for about a week now and so i've had very little time to write, see friends, hear stories, or just about anything.  it's nice to be feeling a bit better but i'm not out of the woods just yet.  i digress...

in spite of being sick i did decide to go on a walk with my friend Jenn last week.  since being sick i've had to cease my training because, well, i can't breathe!

jenn is one of my best friends.  she is amazing.  she is smart, fun, sweet, and beautiful.  however, she has one flaw...her ex.

like many of our ex's he is still 'around'.  he's one of those we can't shake 'em ex's - even if it is to our detriment.  so she still talks to him, sees him, blah blah blah.  i sit back, listen and seriously do not judge - been there done that, i am in no place to judge anyone, as evidenced by my lack of decision making ability.

back to the walk, jenn and our chat.  so Jenn's ex is still hanging around and he's well, what would i say about him?  first i would say i don't know him.  i would say i have met him once, he was leaving as i was arriving.  i would then say he isn't very nice to her IMO (in my opinion) and i would have to say he has the ego the size of texas.  so was it any surprise the other night while having a conversation with Jenn he said, "it must be nice to talk to me". 

yep, you read it, "it must be nice to talk to me".  you see, he feels he brings some light to her life.  he is the epiphany she has been waiting for.  had she not had HIM to talk to well, she may not have worked through her stuff.  you see apparently this educated woman would be nothing had she not had him to talk to. 

bottle it.  put a cap on it.  save it.  that might be the BEST thing I have ever heard from anyone.  any woman or man.  that level of ego is just delicious.  how do you make that shit up?  you don't. 

ah, thank you jenn's ex - i am getting hours of entertainment off of this nugget.

lists - good or bad?

i was talking to my friend from high school, who I connected with via facebook (of course) and we were talking about dating in our 40's.  he's single (divorced) with two kids.  he is a hands-on dad and adores the ground his kids walk on - a good thing.  but he is facing the dating dilemmas and all the drama that goes with it.  i asked him "what are you looking for in a woman?" and slowly throughout the day he text me his list.  mind you some are serious, most made me laugh - here ya go!

• non smoker - cool!
• a bit crazy - meaning fun and silly
• good teeth - he said good teeth are an indication of other things
• no "wacky" religion - 'nuff said
• any political affiliation - he's a conservative
• must speak english - can also speak other languages
• no public display of cheap sweat pants - i laughed and laughed
• she needs to be close to his age - what?  no 20 somethings?
• she needs to like all kinds of music
• can't complain about the weather - pick a season
• does not need to know how to cook - that's a good one
• must like breakfast
• no bleach blondes
• not a "current" drug addict - rehab is okay
• she must close the door when going to the bathroom except to brush her hair or teeth - lol
• must have one fetish - hmmmm, revealing
• must like spicy food
• can't wear too much makeup
• cannot be a porn star - either domestic or international (what is THAT all about?)
• no gang tattoos but other types are okay
• no more than one harry potter book in personal library
• must like brownies (with nuts)
• must have a favorite beer

all of this got me thinking. if women have a list, why can't men?  i guess we always figure they have to meet up to our expectations but it seems they have their own as well.

so, what is on your list?

Update on Monday, September 7, 2009 at 4:21PM by Lori Luna

my friend said he wanted to see my list, i simply said, "i don't have one".  he said, "everyone has one", i said, "nope".  he followed up <nag nag nag> "why not" and i said, without thinking, "men hurt".

that was a mouthful!